Performance Anxiety or ED? How to Tell the Difference

Performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction (ED) are two common issues that can greatly impact our sexual health and confidence. While they may seem similar, there are important differences!

In a previous article, we discussed how the nervous system controls sexual performance and erectile dysfunction. We learned that when we’re in "perceived danger" or under considerable stress, our sympathetic nervous system kicks into action and diverts blood flow from less essential parts of the body such as the penis, and sends it to the muscles needed to get us out of danger.

Today we’re going to discuss those mood-killing feelings further and talk specifically about performance anxiety and ED. It’s something that many guys experience and can leave them limp, bewildered, upset, and feeling as though we may never have successful sex again.

There is a way out of the black hole of performance anxiety.

We're going to talk you through understanding the difference between performance anxiety and ED, and then provide you with the steps you can take to reclaim your confidence and overcome the anxiety that could potentially ruin your sex life.

Key Takeaways

Performance anxiety is a common issue that can affect anyone, regardless of age or gender.

It can be caused by various factors such as self-doubt, past negative experiences, and societal pressure.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be effective in addressing performance anxiety by reprogramming unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.

Sensate focus exercises and massage can help couples reconnect and build intimacy without the pressure of full intercourse.

Breathing exercises and mindful masturbation can help alleviate anxiety and improve sexual function.

Devices like The Phoenix, Bathmate, and Phallosan Forte can provide a confidence boost for those struggling with penis size or performance.

Building sexual confidence is key to overcoming performance anxiety and enjoying a fulfilling sex life.

What Is Performance Anxiety?

Performance anxiety comes about when you’re feeling self-conscious about your ability to please your partner sexually. This may stem from a feeling of inadequacy about the size of your penis, it may come from worries about how attractive you are, the ability to get hard and/or stay hard, or it could relate to your general sexual abilities.

You may have failed to get it up once or twice.

This could have been due to stress or having too much to drink. However, worries about erections can return whenever you find yourself in a future sexual situation.

What is ED?

ED, on the other hand, is defined as the consistent inability to get or maintain an erection that is firm enough for sexual intercourse. It can be caused by physical factors such as high blood pressure, diabetes, or side effects from certain medications. It can also be psychological in nature, such as depression, anxiety, or relationship issues.

Unlike performance anxiety which may come and go with different sexual encounters, ED is a chronic issue that persists over time and can greatly impact a person's self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life.

How to Tell the Difference Between Performance Anxiety and ED

So how do you know if it’s performance anxiety or ED that is causing your issues down stairs?

Here are some key differences to look out for:

• For performance anxiety, the issue is usually situational. It may only occur with certain partners or in specific environments. With ED, the problem typically persists regardless of the situation.

• Performance anxiety often stems from psychological factors such as stress, while ED can have both physical and psychological causes.

• The frequency of occurrence can also be an indicator. If you experience difficulty getting or maintaining an erection more consistently than not, it may be ED rather than performance anxiety.

• Communication with your partner can also provide some insight. If you are able to get and maintain an erection during masturbation or while watching pornography, but struggle during partnered sex, it may be a sign of performance anxiety and not ED.

What Is Sex Avoidance/Sexual Anorexia?

Sex avoidance or sexual anorexia is another issue that can often be confused with performance anxiety or ED. It refers to a pattern of avoiding sexual activity altogether, due to a fear of failure, performance anxiety, or other underlying psychological issues.

While it may seem like a solution to avoid the stress and potential disappointment caused by performance anxiety or ED, sex avoidance can have negative consequences on relationships.

While it may be hard for some to even imagine, sex avoidance can be a very real problem that lots of guys face. So much so, that the condition is recognized by the American Psychological Association as Sexual Aversion Disorder.

When the anxiety associated with sex such as the worry that you’re not going to be able to sustain an erection, can make you fearful of sexual encounters.

Over time, these fears can cause you to avoid sexual encounters completely. 

In much the same way as anorexics shun food, sexual anorexics shun sexual contact.

When is it NOT Performance Anxiety?

It’s important to note that sometimes, difficulty getting or maintaining an erection may not be due to performance anxiety or ED at all. It could be a sign of an underlying physical health issue such as cardiovascular disease or low testosterone levels.

If you are experiencing frequent issues with erections, it is important to speak with your doctor and rule out any potential medical causes.

Too many guys jump right on the band wagon, panic, and think they have erectile dysfunction and that their sexual life is over. But critically thinking and going through all scenarios is crucial.

Overcoming Performance Anxiety and ED

Now that we have a clearer understanding of the differences between performance anxiety and ED, let’s talk about steps you can take to overcome these issues:

Identify The Root Cause

The first step in overcoming performance anxiety or ED is to identify the root cause of your difficulties. Is it truly a physical issue, or is it stemming from psychological factors such as stress, low self-esteem, or relationship problems?

Take time to reflect on what may be triggering your performance anxiety and address any underlying issues that may be contributing to it. DON'T jump right into thinking you have ED and a pill like Viagra will make it all go away.

Think about the Where, What's, Why's, and How's when it comes to your erections. This can help you identify the issue and root cause.

Educate Yourself

Understanding how your body works and what happens during sexual arousal can help alleviate some of the anxiety associated with performing sexually.

Read up on the physiology of erections and learn about different techniques for managing and improving sexual function.

CBT for Performance Anxiety

Fighting performance anxiety can be a challenge, however, there is ways to beat it. Perhaps one of the best ways of addressing the problem is through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

This type of therapy can be particularly useful for reprogramming unhelpful thinking.

Through talking with a therapist, you’ll be able to identify the thought processes that lead to your worries taking over your ability to perform in the bedroom.

By doing this, you’ll be able to put plans into place that can help you think differently.

Sensate Focus Touching Exercises

Sensate focus is a touching exercise that a specialist sex therapist may recommend to couples that are affected by performance anxiety. Through the act of gently touching and being touched, you can build back towards full intercourse gradually.

The aim is to get you to focus on the experience. This can be very useful in allowing you to be present with your partner, instead of being in your head worrying about your penis.

Massage Your Partner

Instead of starting foreplay all-guns-blazing, start off gently by massaging your partner. By focusing on their experience, you’ll be able to put your fears to the back of your mind.

Starting sex in this gentle way will help take away some of the pressure. You may even want to hold off on the possibility of full sex and just move on to erotic touching or oral sex instead.

Use oil, light candles, and play some soft music to really ensure the atmosphere is perfect for the moment.

Do some reading up first, and make sure you put their experience first.

Breathing Exercises

Breathing is a great way to keep anxiety at bay. When you control your breathing, it increases the flow of oxygen to the brain Remember the parasympathetic nervous we talked about previously, well deep breathing activates that, restoring you to a natural sense of calm.

The trick is to breathe in slowly over the count of four and breathe out over the count of five. Repeat this a few times and it’ll help clear your mind and relax your body.

Practice Mindful Masturbation

Masturbating your anxiety away may seem like an odd way to deal with it, but it really can help you reconnect with your penis and encourage your erections in a calming manner.

By masturbating without using porn through the practice of solo cultivation, you’ll be able to better connect to your feelings of arousal and learn to stay focused during sex. Mindful masturbation is all about slowing down and re-learning how your body reacts to touch.

Use The Phoenix, Bathmate, or Phallosan Forte For More Confidence

If the size of your penis or your ability to "get it up" are what’s causing your performance anxiety, take the bull by the horns and do something about it.

The Bathmate and Phallosan Forte are both great devices that will, over time, enhance the size of your manhood.

Using these devices can give you the confidence boost you need in order to perform better in bed, alleviating performance anxiety.

The Phoenix is an acoustic wave device that improves sexual performance and makes it easier to "get it up". It allows you to enjoy better sex and not have to worry about whether you'll be able to "rise" to the occasion.

We call gaining confidence big dick energy. You take control of your sex life and issues relating to sex and take them head-on with solutions that will help make you a better man in and out of the bedroom.

Beat Performance Axnciety With Sexual Confidence

Performance anxiety is a common issue that many people face, but it can be overcome with the right tools and techniques. It doesn’t have to be the nail in the coffin for your sex life. You can overcome it.

By identifying the root cause of your difficulties, educating yourself, practicing CBT, and using exercises like sensate focus and breathing techniques, you can learn to manage and ultimately overcome performance anxiety.

Don’t let this issue control your sex life any longer. Take back control and enjoy a fulfilling, confident, and satisfying sex life. Remember, sexual confidence is key to overcoming performance anxiety. So focus on building that confidence in yourself and trust that you have the tools to overcome any challenges in the bedroom.