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A lot of guys often focus on achieving sexual satisfaction solely through physical stimulation (touch or thrusting their penis). However, it's much more than JUST physical, it's also very much a mental experience as well. Sex is a sensual experience.
It involves all five of our senses; sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing. Each of these senses plays a crucial role in enhancing sexual experience/pleasure.
Whether you're in a long-term relationship, just looking to improve your performance, or pleasure in the bedroom, or really anything else related to intimacy, understanding and utilizing these senses can take your sex life to the next level... Not just for you, but also for your partner.
Lastly, if you're dealing with something such as erectile dysfunction, having a "rut" in your relationship, or anything else that is taking away from your sexual satisfaction, focusing on these senses can also help to improve those issues as well.
Why is sexual arousal important?
We’ll talk about why arousal is important for men experiencing erectile dysfunction later, but arousal or becoming aroused is what is needed for us to go through our sexual response cycle, which includes:
Excitement: The initial phase where arousal builds.
Plateau: A sustained period of arousal.
Orgasm: The peak of sexual pleasure.
Resolution: The phase where the body returns to its regular state, also known as the refractory period.
We’ve also talked about the importance of arousing stimuli so that your erection process can start! Without supporting stimuli to encourage arousal, there is NO erection!
A while back we also talked about how the prelude to sex, starts with arousing stimuli to get us prepared and fired up for sex (desire). Some of us NEED that mental and body prep to get in the mood. We even highlighted that importance in our guide on spontaneous versus responsive desire.
Sure, some of you might react based on spontaneous desire and will want to rush to put your penis inside someone (skipping foreplay), but we have to remember to slow down because maybe your partner’s desire type is more responsive (on certain days or because of certain circumstances) or they might need the right conditions to be met first so that you both can experience TRUE quality sex, together.
Sexual Arousal Is Also Not Sexual Desire
Oftentimes, I see guys and people get confused with the terminology. They think sexual desire, aka libido or sex drive is the same thing as sexual arousal. If you google “sexual arousal” you’ll see a ton of blogs and articles talking about libido and sexual desire.
But that’s not what we’re talking about….
These are two ENTIRELY different terms, but they go hand in hand when it comes to our sexual behaviors, why we have sex to begin with and what actually happens inside the body when we have sex.
What's the Real Difference?
Arousal is a sexual response to the 5 senses or mental fantasy to induce the physiological response in your body when you're sexually excited. For example, we discussed this in the blog, "The Process of an Erection" and that an "erection" begins in the arousal stage. It’s a response to arousal.
On the other hand, sexual desire is the urge to want to be intimate with a partner. It’s an emotional response (a feeling), it’s the ‘wanting to want’ part, the sexual appetite or the baseline interest in having sex. For some, it comes first, while for others, it comes after arousal (spontaneous versus responsive desire)
Why Does This Matter?
Understanding these terms is more than semantic—it's about knowing yourself and navigating sexual relationships more smoothly. When you get the difference, you can better communicate with your partner and address any issues that arise.
So now that we understand the difference, let's take a look at each of the 5 sensual senses that contribute to sexual arousal and how you can incorporate them into your sex life.
1. The Power of Touch
Touch is one of the most important senses when it comes to sexual pleasure. It's not just about where you touch, but also how you touch. Taking the time to really explore your own and your partner's body through gentle caresses, firm touches, and different strokes can heighten arousal and create a deeper connection between partners.
The skin carries a multitude of sensory receptors, designed to serve as a gatekeeper for the body's sense of touch. Therefore, it's important to pay attention to your partner's reactions and communicate with them about what feels good AND what doesn't.
Whether it's a gentle caress along the nape of their necks, or the fierce grip of passion, touch kindles a fire in our most intimate moments.
Ways to Use It:
Explore your partner's body with different touch techniques: Feather light touches, firm strokes, gentle caresses. Communicate with your partner to find out what feels good and what doesn't.
Use massage oils or lotions to enhance sensations: Try warming or cooling oils for added sensation.
Experiment with varying pressure and speed during foreplay: Slow and soft, fast and rough... Mix it up to keep things interesting. But remember to find out what your partner actually enjoys.
Start off with an intimate massage: This can help set the mood and relax both partners before getting into more intense sexual activity.
Try using silk, lace, or leather: Different textures can add a new dimension to touch and create different sensations for both partners.
Incorporate toys or props: From vibrating toys to handcuffs, there are plenty of options available to create different touches in the bedroom. Use them to explore new sensations!
2. The Impact of Sight
There's a reason why lingerie and sexy costumes are so popular in the bedroom. Sight plays a big role in enhancing sexual desire and pleasure. Whether it's seeing your partner in something that turns you on or simply making eye contact during sex, incorporating sight into your sexual experience can add an element of excitement and arousal.
Also... engaging a sense doesn't always "require" intensifying it; it can also involve suppressing it, such as by using a blindfold. This can heighten other senses and create a sense of anticipation and mystery.
Ways to Use It:
Set the mood with dim lighting or candles: Soft lighting can create a more intimate and sensual atmosphere.
Experiment with different positions: Different angles and views can add new dimensions to your experience. You can also use a mirror for new perceptions and views.
Try role-playing or using costumes: Dressing up in fun outfits or playing out fantasies can add a new level of excitement and arousal for both partners.
Make eye contact during sex: This can create a deeper connection and intimacy between partners. Or using the latest tech such as VR headsets, to enhance everything you see.
Use a blindfold: Blocking out sight can heighten sensations and create an element of surprise in the bedroom.
Slow or certain types of intentional ways of removing your clothes: This can add a teasing and seductive element to the experience.
3. The Symphony of Sounds
The moans, groans, and whispers in the bedroom can be just as arousing as any physical touch. Sounds play a big role in enhancing sexual pleasure by stimulating our auditory senses and creating a sense of intimacy between partners.
Sex is a symphony of sounds, some seductive, some blush-worthy, and some even a mix of both. There are a ton of ways you can embrace the sounds of pleasure and use them to heighten arousal.
Ways to Use It:
Vocalize your pleasure: Moaning, whispering, or talking dirty can add a new level of excitement and arousal for both partners.
Use music in the background: This can help create a romantic or sensual atmosphere. Just make sure it's something that both
Verbalize what you want in explicit detail: This can add an element of anticipation and build up to the experience.
Whisper naughty things in your partner's ear: This can be a major turn on for both partners.
4. Savoring Taste
Food can be a powerful aphrodisiac and incorporating taste into your sexual experience can add an extra layer of pleasure. From using flavored lubes to incorporating food into foreplay, there are many ways to engage the sense of taste during sex. The connection between food and sex runs deeper than bites and nibbles. It's a shared experience of senses, a synesthetic delight that can pave the way for enhanced intimacy.
Just remember to only use something that you and your partner actually enjoy the taste of before trying it in bed!
Ways to Use It:
Use flavored lubes, oils or massage candles: These can add a fun and tasty element to foreplay. Plus, you can find them just about at any adult store or online.
Incorporate food into your sexual play: From whipped cream to chocolate, get creative with using food in the bedroom. Just make sure to avoid any potential mess or allergies.
Use nutmeg and cloves: These spices have been long known as natural aphrodisiacs, so try incorporating them into a meal beforehand to set the mood. Research in animals has shown that it can increase mating performance.
Share bites and nibbles during foreplay: This can create a sensual and intimate experience between partners. Just be careful not to bite too hard!
5. Awareness of Smell
Our sense of smell is closely linked to our memories and emotions, making it a powerful tool in enhancing sexual pleasure. Aromatherapy can be used to create a sensual atmosphere, while certain scents like vanilla have been known to increase arousal while lavender aroma promotes interpersonal trust.
But it's also important to pay attention to personal hygiene and make sure both partners are fresh and clean.
Ways to Use It:
Use essential oils on your sheets or bed: This can create a relaxing and sensual atmosphere for both partners.
Light scented candles or incense: Choose scents that are soothing or arousing, depending on the mood you want to set.
Incorporate food with enticing smells into foreplay: This can stimulate the senses and add an extra element of pleasure. Just make sure it's something both partners enjoy the smell of.
Pay attention to personal hygiene: Make sure you are fresh and clean, as unpleasant smells can be a MAJOR turn off.
How Does Arousal Work With Erectile Dysfunction?
Understanding arousal and ED:
The Arousal-Erection Connection: Your body requires a signal from the brain to increase blood flow to the penis for an erection. With ED, this signal or the body's response might be weakened or delayed, making erections less consistent or not as firm as they used to be (our guide on the erection process).
Physical Factors: Various health issues, including hormonal changes or nerve damage, can affect your body's arousal mechanisms, impacting your ability to achieve or maintain an erection.
Psychological Impact: It's not just physical health that plays a role in arousal. Stress, relationship conflicts, and mental health challenges like anxiety and depression can also influence your sexual function. Your emotional well-being is deeply intertwined with your sexual health. The brain is very powerful, and if you feel unpleasant, it can throw you off sexually
So what does all of this have to do with the 5 sensual senses? Everything.
Everything.
If you're someone dealing with ED, understanding the 5 sensual senses and how to MAXIMIZE your arousal can help you create a more stimulating sexual experience with an erection that not only is supercharged but also at its hardest.
By engaging all of your senses, you can enhance arousal and pleasure, giving yourself the best chance at achieving and maintaining an erection.
Arousal triggers a complex set of responses that involve a plethora of neurotransmitters from the brain and to the penis. With ED, the physical manifestation of arousal might not be as forthcoming, but exploring all of your senses before, during, and after intimacy can lead to new forms of physical and emotional satisfaction that prioritize connection over performance.
8 Ways To Navigate Arousal with a Partner When Facing ED
Understanding Erection Variability:
It's normal for men to experience changes in erectile function throughout the day; this is known as erection variability. Not every instance of a less firm erection is a sign of erectile dysfunction (ED), it can simply be an "erection disappointment" - a temporary and common experience.
Sometimes we might perceive a “bad erection” day as erectile dysfunction, when really, it’s just an “erection disappointment”. It's important to differentiate between temporary setbacks and ongoing issues.
2. Psychological Factors and Their Influence on Erectile Function:
Combating Negative Self-Talk: For those who may experience anxiety or have an insecure attachment style, a critical inner voice can lead to stress and anticipatory anxiety. This can potentially worsen ED symptoms, creating a tough cycle to break and a challenging time to focus on the eroticism of the moment.
Creating the Right Environment: Sometimes, the immediate setting isn't conducive to intimacy—lacking privacy or time—making it challenging to fully engage in the moment. There is a myth that men can have sex anywhere or that they need to be ready on the spot. This is not true at all! Sometimes men need the right conditions to be met so they can immerse themselves in the 5 sensual senses or mental thought without distractions
Relationship Dynamics: Stress and conflict within a relationship can affect sexual desire and concentration, making arousal more difficult.
3. Emotional Openness and Communication:
The Importance of Exploring Emotions: Men are also NOT immune to feelings, which is why we need to explore them. Engaging in conversations about feelings with your partner can help reduce anxiety and the pressure to perform.
Identifying Arousal Triggers: Discuss with your partner what stimulates you sexually. Integrating all five senses or tapping into mental fantasies can enhance arousal and improve the potential for maintaining an erection.
4. The Role of Foreplay in Maintaining Arousal:
Revisiting Foreplay: If you find yourself losing an erection due to distractions, reintroducing foreplay can help. This approach can bring back the excitement through various stimuli such as touch, sight, sound, and taste.
5. Addressing Emotional Obstacles for Better Sexual Experiences:
It’s about exploring and discovering new things about yourself and your partner, including feelings. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
When we experience ‘unpleasant feelings’ (shame, guilt, anxiety, frustration, etc.), these unaddressed feelings, then replace feelings of sexual pleasure. Unpleasant feelings can distract us from focusing on arousing stimuli to get and maintain an erection
We want to feel MORE pleasant and relaxed so that we can become more responsive to sexual encounters (pro parasympathetic nervous system)---and by addressing these unpleasant feelings we can have a better chance at refocusing on the feelings of sexual pleasure and being present with our partner(s).
6. Tackling ED as a Team:
Guys, you can’t face ED alone.
Us men need to get better at communicating with our partners on what turns us on and what doesn’t. We also need to get better at initiating the discussion of our ED challenges so that we can move the needle on the education part and how to navigate through it, together.
7. Exploring Treatment Options:
Research shows that you can treat physical ED with medical intervention like pills, shockwave therapy, penis pumps, lifestyle and health modifications, etc. to combat sexual decline.
8. The Power of Partner Involvement:
Partner Involvement in Treatment: Research suggests that treatments for physical ED can be more effective when combined with a supportive partner who is actively involved in improving the sexual relationship.
By focusing on open communication, emotional exploration, and addressing both psychological and physical aspects of ED, couples can enhance their intimacy and sexual satisfaction together.
Other Ways to Enhance Intimacy
Now that we've talked about the 5 sensual senses, their role in intimacy, how to use them in the bedroom, and what that means for guys dealing with ED, let's talk about some other ways you can enhance intimacy.
These are tips and techniques that can help you connect with your partner on a deeper level, both emotionally and physically.
Use OMGYES To Unlearn Misconceptions About Female Pleasure
First, let's talk about the OMGYES platform. If you guys haven't seen our full review of OMGYES, make sure to check it out. The platform offers a wealth of information on enhancing sexual pleasure for women, backed by extensive research and real-world testimonials.
It provides a deep-dive into the intricacies of female pleasure and the tools to maximize satisfaction in the bedroom. Personally, I think it’s perfect for men because some guys view sex as a spectacle or a performance instead of an experience.
When you unlearn misconceptions about sex being ‘phallocentric’ or that it’s only about PIV, you’ll start having better quality sex because of this platform.
And what this platform does it in a way that NO ONE else has:
It's all based on extensive research and real-world testimonials
It doesn't shy away from talking about taboos and stigmas
It uses virtual simulations to demonstrate techniques on real life women
It offers real interviews with women who talk and demonstrate techniques on camera, so you can actually see how it's done.
OMGYES offers different 'seasons', collections of videos and simulations, that cover a range of topics like:
Orgasm
Multi-orgasm
Internal pleasure
Edging
Penetration techniques
Using toys
The seasons are packed full of information for men, women, and couples looking to rediscover each other or explore new techniques that can be added to your tool box.
The Phoenix: For Men Struggling To "Rise To The Occasion"
Another great way to enhance intimacy is by treating physical sexual performance issues like trouble "getting it up" or “keeping it up” with The Phoenix device. This device uses sound wave technology to help improve or maintain sexual health (at home).
It’s the same technology used at a men’s health clinic where they treat dozens to hundreds of penises a day for sexual decline—but this time, it’s an individual device for you to treat your penis yourself.
Over cycles of treatment that is spread out overtime, it can restore natural sexual performance and function in men. It benefits men that:
Don't get as hard as they use to
Experiencing sexual decline and loss of penile fullness
Having difficulty getting hard
Having difficulty staying hard
You can also check out our full review of The Phoenix for more in-depth information about the device.
Wrapping It Up with Sensual Senses
Overall, it's important to remember that intimacy is about connection and pleasure, not just performance. By understanding the role of the 5 sensual senses and exploring other ways to enhance intimacy, you can create a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience for both yourself and your partner.
The enhancement of intimacy through the engagement of our five sensual senses isn't a one-size-fits-all either. It's unique to every individual and partnership. By exploring the tips and techniques we talked about, and with the help of modern tools and resources (such as OMGYES), you can find what works best for you and your partner.
Whether you're in a long-term relationship seeking to reignite a spark or a new couple looking to lay the foundation for enduring intimacy, our advice is simple... indulge in your 5 sensual senses.
Much Love,
-Rich